Discussing some of Dawn's last wishes at HUP in Philly. It may seem weird. But it was both an intense and also hilarious conversation, I want to remember it. Even some of my notes (this was only the 1st draft) simultaneously make me sad and make me laugh.
Weird sign in the hospice bathroom closet:
Ridiculous pizza that Kristen and I picked up to bring to the hospice for dinner. Why is there a sea of cheese on top???
I bought this unicorn for Dawn to color while she was bored in the hospital in Philadelphia. Unfortunately she got too sick and she declined before she ever got the opportunity. So when Zoey came to visit Dawn the night she arrived to hospice, she sat in the room with Dawn and colored it for her. It was really important to Zoey to finish it for Dawn. The necklace is Zoey's, it had been her favorite necklace since she was 2 years old and she never parted with it. That night it was her idea to take it off and give it to Dawn, said she wanted her to have it. Dawn wore it as a bracelet throughout her hospice stay and also wore it at her viewing:
Trying to find clothes for Dawn to wear at her viewing. Even the most somber of tasks require a little levity.
I went to Belco to get Dawn's accounts settled. This was written on the back of the card I received with her account number on it:
I have mixed feelings about remembering this one. I went to Target to try to find a cardigan or sweater for Dawn to wear over her viewing dress and disaster pretty much ensued. I panicked over nothing being right and started sending Sunita and Kristen texts with me trying on different options. Shortly thereafter I had an epic meltdown amidst the clothing racks, bawling and throwing cardigans on the floor. Some poor sales associate came over to ask if she could help and I vaguely remember unleashing (while sobbing and standing in a pile of clothes) about how nothing would work for a dead best friend's viewing.
Going through Dawn's clothing was a difficult but necessary task, and one best accomplished with her best girlfriends. And wine. Sunita, Kristen, and I lovingly went through bins of her clothing. Laughing about memories associated with certain pieces. Laughing about some of the ridiculous things Dawn had (really, who needs a teal velour track jacket??). Crying with the loss of her. But doing it all together.
I recognize the weirdness of this next one, but I make no apologies. The day after Dawnapalooza, I received my half of Dawn's cremated remains. I haven't received her "permanent home" yet, so I put her in Dawn's old Barbie lunchbox. It felt right, don't judge. I came home sad and hungover, and crawled in bed to watch "The Cutting Edge" - one of my old favorite hangover movies. I may have put Dawn on the bed next to me. It felt right, don't judge.
Not judging, I thought it was incredibly cute and very much a Dawn and Jen type of moment. The quirky, fun loving, intensely alive relationship that you both shared was encapsulated in that photo when I first saw it
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